The Phone Apocalypse

I like to think of myself as a pretty "techy" person.

I mean I can navigate Facebook like a beast, and don't even get me started on my Twitter skills. I can tweet with the best of them.

Luke on the other hand, considers me to be completely ignorant when it comes to having to do with anything even slightly related to technical products.

I'm not sure what he is basing his decision on, maybe the fact that when my phone goes slow I scream and yell and declare to throw it as hard as I can at the nearest wall.....which would clearly solve all my phone problems if I no longer have a WORKING PHONE.

And also reveals that I might have a slight anger problem?

For months now I've complained to friends, family, peddlers on the street, basically anybody that would listen that I have the worst phone ever. Somehow out of the 19380324820 iPhone 4's that were put together and sold in various stores throughout the US I got the absolute worst one. A "lemon" if you will.

I would share my frustrations with Luke here and there and he would say "well you are updating it right?" to which I would respond "mm hmm'.

Let's talk about something if I respond with something less than actual words I'm probably lying. And not sure why I chose to lie about updating my phone but it seemed like such a nuisance to sit down, plug my phone into the computer and click that little "update phone" button. BLAH who wants to take the time to do that?

Not me. So I never did it. Ever. In fact I never plugged my phone into my computer. I have all my videos and pictures because I email them to myself.

Like I said, I'm pretty much the most techy person ever.

Well this story is headed in only one direction and regardless of your phone technical skills you can probably see where it is going.

My phone quit working. It was a slow and steady process. First beginning with me not receiving texts causing a close friend to threaten repeatedly to QUIT TEXTING ME ALL TOGETHER BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THEM ANYWAYS. I could feel her frustration each time I didn't receive her texts and I could feel a part of myself dying as I realized just how many texts from people I was probably missing.

If I can't text people my life might as well be over.

Unreceived texts, a phone so slow it rivaled the modem internet my family got in 1998, and a phone constantly shouting at me (through text) that my STORAGE WAS FULL all led up to what he will now refer to as Megan's phone apocalypse.

I can't get into details, because it would reveal a side of myself that I'm not proud of but it involved my phone saying I had ELEVEN text messages but it wouldn't show me any of them. It was like a form of hell. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to crush my phone which I considered many times, but instead I decided to reveal my secret to Luke.

I had to get up slowly from my comfortable spot on the couch and walked back to Luke's office, and it was there that I had to admit to him that I had never once, in the 2 years that I've owned my phone, plugged it into my computer, causing him to look at me in a way that suggested "if it wasn't for that marriage contract thing I would leave right now because I can't handle you". However he put away those desires and helped me get my phone back to working order, not without unnecessary comments and looks of disapproval.

My phone was so far out of date iTunes wouldn't even update it, which seemed like an Apple problem to me, but Luke assured me it was my own fault. We had to restore my phone which in what can only be a MIRACLE FROM THE LORD I didn't lose any contacts or videos and pictures.

And now, I've sat amazed all morning at my phone. It's like I went and got a whole brand new phone! I had no idea what I was missing, and now my friend doesn't have to yell at my anymore because I'm not receiving her texts.

Moral of the story? Update your phone. Apparently it's important.

Also? if you lie to your husband it will most definitely come back around and reveal itself when you least expect it.