Life is weird isn't it?
One Friday morning you are in college attending classes, avoiding homework, and trying to figure out just what you and your friends will do that weekend.
And the next Friday you are 28 years old, sitting in your house with the TV volume very low in order to hear the roar of the garbage truck coming. And when you heard it you run to the window like it's Christmas morning so that your son can watch that magical garbage truck go by.
It's just weird.
One moment you are a person who gags at the thought of anything to do with human body fluid.
And the next moment you are in a store with no tissue and using your good shirt to wipe the copious amounts of green snot flowing from your child's nose.
I mean, life is really, really weird.
I'm a dweller by nature, which can be good and bad, and for some reason I choose to dwell on seasons of life.
Not in a bad way, but in the way where I truly want to enjoy every season I'm in. I reminded myself of this continuously when I was waiting for Luke to propose (I thought he was NEVER going to do it) and I focused on being thankful for my current season when I was working and just wanted to be home with my baby.
So here I am in a season where it seems I have everything I ever wanted. I have a beautiful home, that hott guitar playing boy finally proposed and I'm living my dream job as a stay at home mom. Our non-perfect life is full of perfect moments and it's wonderful.
But, just as anything, little feelings of discontent creep their way in and through and if i'm not careful they take residence. I get discontent with my house and feeling like it's always dirty. I get discontent feeling like I'm not doing enough for Eli, or he is watching too much TV (he is).
And then I'm reminded of some words my boss told me on my last day of work in October.
On my last day in the office my boss asked me to go out in the hall with her.
Let's be honest.....going into the hall with any authority type always makes me nervous. I was not the best student in my Jr high/ High school years so hall visits never meant something good was about to be said to me.
Hallway visits cause a large amount of stress to stir up in me and I start sweating out of my arm pits.
Nice visual huh?
But this was one of the best hallway visits. She let me know how happy she was for me, and reminded me that I wasn't staying home so that I could have a perfectly clean house or to get everything on my to-do list done, but I was leaving my job to stay home with my son. This was now my focus.
And it's another one of those statements that seems so simple yet so profound. So very, "I should already know this" but yet " I need to be reminded of this"
I think about those words often. I don't just think of them when I'm trying to get out of cleaning and I'm looking for a reason to convince Luke to hire a house cleaner (though that would be nice) but I think of them when I doubt myself as a mom, as the "keeper" of our house.
When I find myself wondering if everybody else is as scared as I am to look behind their oven, I remember that right now the crumbs behind the oven is not my focus. If I get around to it ,awesome (which let's face facts I'm not going to get around to it). But my focus is being a wife and a mom and all that fits into that.
And when I remind myself of the truths I know - there is no room for discontent.
Maybe there will be a season of life when I have time to clean my house to the point of it sparkling.
Hopefully a season of having money to hire a person to clean my house to the point of it sparkling comes before the aforementioned season.
kinda funny, but I seriously cleaned behind my oven yesterday. For the first time in four years mind you. And only because my husband wants to install a new tile backsplash which would involve moving the oven, which would then make him question two things. If I even know how to use a broom and do I actually grind the coffee beans in the morning or just chuck them around the kitchen?ReplyDelete
Levi is a lucky boy to have such a loving Mama.