8/1/12
The Next One
One day, in the not so near future, but not so far distance Luke and I will decide that the time has come for Eli to have a sibling.
Or simply a brother if you are asking Luke. He can't imagine our next child being a girl - he is convinced we will have another boy.
It seems like the natural progression for most people. Get married. Have a baby. Survive. Have another. Yes there are some people who opt to not do any of the above, but we are told that the majority of households have 2.5 children.
Is this still accurate? I learned this in 10th grade which even though it seems like last year to me I need to realize it was TWELVE YEARS AGO, so the 2.5 children could have gone down or up. I could research this but if it isn't Titanic facts or the cast of One Tree Hill I really don't feel like researching it.
Back to the next kid talk:
We know we want more kids, however it makes me SO NERVOUS. Eli is my baby boy. My bubba wubba. My sweet precious Eli Tree who is my PRIDE AND JOY. I can't imagine loving another as much as I love him.
And I know, I've been told that it just happens. You wonder how you could love another crawling, crying, puking little critter as much as you loved that first one, but then that baby is born and somewhere between the sleepless nights, sore boobs and crying fits (you not the baby) you find that you are just as much in love with this new baby as you were the first.
But it still scares me.
And thinking back I remember being scared of having Eli. When I was pregnant I couldn't imagine what bringing a baby into our lives would do. We had a rhythm and a good thing going and it was all about to change. And it scared me.
And now? I can't even remember that rhthym. Nor do I want to. Life is how it should be for us. Looking back at pictures of just me and Luke we look happy, in love, but not complete.
And maybe there is a future little Tree (or 2 or 3) going to be added to the mix in the future, and I will watch as my heart grows right a long with my waisteline.
If I've learned anything from my 1 1/2 years of motherhood it's that my fears and worries are usually much bigger than the actual event itself. Life just happens and it comes together.
I hope these feelings are normal though, but I've never been one to be "normal" so they very well may not be.
Until the next one comes (not soon) I will enjoy Eli's toddler years and not worry about how my heart will grow. Because it will.
In the meantime I will focus on not letting my waistline grow. That can wait till later.
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As someone who wondered about those same things, I declare you normal. Or at least, if you're crazy, you are in good company.
ReplyDeleteIt really is like your heart grows to make room. I felt a little sadness at Caedmon losing his "only" status, but now when I see how much he and Honor love each other, I wonder how I could've been sad or worried about it. I know what we were like before kids & I wouldn't give it up for the world. It's the same with the second kid. I know it's cheesy, but when I held Honor for the first time, I felt like my heart was complete. It's like a piece of it was missing & I didn't even know. Then it felt dumb to have been worried.
I had a good friend who told me that "your love for your children doubles, not divides." That has stuck with me as we are a few months out from our second! I cant imagine having two and I love my little girl more than life itself, but I know that once number 2 gets here, my love truly will double! ...If you want my opinion, I think you and Luke need a few more! :)
ReplyDeleteThink about the joy it will bring into Eli's life to have a sibling. I watch my three children together and oh my it melts my heart.
ReplyDeleteThere is just something about that second child. You have been through everything with your first so you are more relaxed to cuddle. You know how fast the time goes so you take every opportunity to sniff in that baby smell. I can't explain it..your first will always be your baby, but there is something really special about that second one. It is so hard to comprehend the love you will have for the second, but it will be as big as your love for Eli!!
ReplyDeleteYour worries and fears are so understandable, and I feared the same things prior to having Baby #2. I can't even begin to tell you the fear that went through my soul that I wouldn't be able to love Baby #2 as much as I love our first born. I was so fearful, but I prayed about it, and then, I went into labor. I cried, and I told my husband that I wanted to take it back. I didn't want #2. I couldn't imagine having another little baby to love. I wanted to put him back, but I didn't have a choice, and he came into this world quickly. My love for him was unbelievable the minute he made his debut into this world. He is precious and perfect, and I love both of my sons equally. Though people will tell you that you'll love them equally, it's so hard to believe and easy to fear and worry until he/she joins your family. Good Luck as you begin thinking about expanding your family! :)
ReplyDeleteCompletely normal. It probably would be abnormal to not think about it. It means you love Eli very much! And I thought the same thing, but boy is it awesome having these two little monkeys running around.
ReplyDeleteBOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
ReplyDeleteWhy American men should boycott American women
http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/
I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.
Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the following crimes:
1. False rape accusations (it has been proven that up to 80 percent of rape accusations are FALSE)
2. False domestic violence (DV) charges (same as above)
3. Financial destruction of men in divorce courts through alimony and support payments (women get up to 95 percent of their ex-husband's income and savings, as well as the house, car, etc)
4. Emotional destruction of men by ex-wives who have stolen their children from them and forbidden the fathers from having custody or contact with their own children
5. Divorced dads who commit suicide as a result
Not one single American woman has EVER condemned their fellow American women for committing these crimes against men. Silence means consent. Therefore, American women support and enjoy destroying men's lives and causing men to commit suicide. Apparently, American women think it is okay to be a criminal, just as long as you are a woman. Therefore, is it any surprise that a huge percent of American men no longer want anything to do with American women, other than using them for easy sex and then throwing them away?
A few more reasons to stay away from American women?
-25 percent of American women take psychiatric drugs for mental illnesses.
-25 percent of women under the age of 30 have at least one STD.
-85 percent of divorces in America are INITIATED by women, thus women are responsible for the vast majority of divorces.
-70 percent of criminals in America were raised by single mothers, thus feminism is responsible for most crime in America.
-The majority of child molestation, child abuse, and child murder in America is done by WOMEN.
Over 50 percent of American women are single, without a boyfriend or husband; so the fact is most American men no longer want to marry American women. Let these worthless American women grow old living alone with their 10 cats.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!
Apparently it's now 1.86 children per household. I Googled it for you because I had to know after you brought it up. You're welcome ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd how does one have .86th of a child?
I'm with you on all these feelings. Which is why we're still only a family of three. maybe one day... I don't know...
As someone who is totally struggling and terrified by the thoughts that pop in my head when I imagine bringing our first baby into this world, I'm so glad to read this post and know someone else felt that way while pregnant. It's so scary thinking about how much our "normal" will change with our baby. I know it will be for the best, but you're right, it's terrifying!
ReplyDeleteAnd if I'm this scared of how one will change things, I am sure I'll feel the same way when we start talking about baby #2!
Of course it's normal, but oh it is so wonderful! Each one is so unique a such a miracle, and so much fun to watch grow. There are "days" of course but it is amazing in so many ways, and watching their little relationships grow with each other, every single day, melts your heart (and overshadow the days or times of toy tiffs :)). We spend a lot of time praying for wisdom and even more time thanking Him! :)
ReplyDeleteI was going to say the same thing Kristen did! Even though I'm only pregnant with #2 and they aren't officially here..there will always be a special place for #1..but #2 will create their own special place!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post!! :) We are pregnant with our first and I keep thinking "Stay in there , little guy! I'm too terrified to meet you!" :P
ReplyDelete