Lately I've been thinking about expectations a lot, not just in people, or what expectations people put in me, but I've been thinking about them because Eli's birthday is coming up in the next month.
I debated back and forth whether to have birthday party. I didn't want it to become something entirely stressful, taking away from celebrating sweet Eli's birthday.
I had decided once and for all to not do a party, but then decided that this was special, our baby will be turning one and we want to celebrate! Celebrate Eli, celebrate our survival of parenting for the first year, and also to distract myself from sitting and crying thinking about how it has been a full year since I held my first baby in my arms for the first time.
I've mentioned before that I'm a details person. When I plan something I like to plan everything down to the last detail, and I've found myself doing that with Eli's birthday party.
Which can be a bad thing. I realized I had maybe stepped over that "crazy person" line when I practically did a victory dance in a local mall proclaiming this party was going to be perfect, just because I found Eli some red shoes to match his birthday shirt. Cuckoo.
It was later, when I had several dreams in a row about Eli's birthday that I realized I might need to take a step back.I don't want to become so invested in perfect planning that I neglect the entire reason for this whole shebang.
I don't want to have all these visions and expectations in my head, and then when the day comes and its raining, or Eli is grumpy, or everything I thought would look good looks horrible, I suddenly become in a bad mood because of unrealistic expectations.
So from here on out we are on operation no expectations birthday party. I want it to be a fun day for Eli and our family where we celebrate him. Regardless of the lack of details and decorations.
I'm planning for a laid back, fun, atmosphere. And hopefully, with the Lord's good grace, stress free!
Expectation free is how I want to try and live in every area of my life. It's not fair to those around me for me to put huge expectations on them that they don't even know about, and I wouldn't want someone to do it to me. So from here on out I'm going to try and become expectation free, beginning with the 1st birthday!