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Who Needs Sleep?

This morning I woke up to sweet sounds of Eli through the monitor, cooing and talking and laughing in his crib. I immediately thought it was so sweet that he was up for the day in a happy and chipper mood.

I looked at the clock expecting to see 7:00 and instead I saw 4:00. UM that is NOT what I had in mind.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but my baby does not sleep a lot. He isn't fussy or cranky about it, he just sleeps a limited amount of time and then is good to go. If he came with an instruction manual it would say "This baby does not require a lot of sleep, please proceed with caution". And so I do.

Even though Eli woke up in good spirits, I wanted him to sleep a bit longer, perhaps till 7:00? So I went in his room to put his pacifier back in his mouth, because that usually helps him drift back to sleep. When I got in there I saw that he was completely soaking wet, including his mattress.

Can we talk about something? Why can we fly to space and also carry little devices in our pockets that allow us to access the internet from the depths of the forests in Africa (I'm not really sure of any depths of forests in Africa I'm just going for theatrics here) but we can't create a diaper that doesn't leak?!?! Its unfathomable to me!!

So when I realized he was wet I brought him in our room to change his diaper and clothes. Then I left him in our bed next to a sleeping Luke and went to change his crib sheet.

I normally leave this horrible task to Luke but he was fast asleep and had a big day ahead of him (more on that later) so I decided to tackle the impossible myself.

Have you ever changed a crib sheet? It is equivalent to running a full marathon. It is hard, exhausting and leaves you sore by the end of it. By the time I got that beast of a sheet on the mattress I was wide awake.

I went back to get Eli to put him in his bed but he was fast asleep. He look so sweet and peaceful and I felt bad moving him (ridiculous I know) so I left him in bed with us. Since I was wide awake I used this time to browse the internet AKA creep people on Facebook. It's amazing the things you can learn about your former high school classmates at 4:30 in the morning.

After I had exhausted my creeping skills I realized I was slowly being edged out of the bed. I was balancing my large booty on a tiny sliver of my side of the bed. This may have been why:

So I decided it was time to carry sweet sleeping love-bug who was taking up the WHOLE BED to his crib. He stayed asleep and I fell asleep around 6:00. Eli woke back up for the day around 6:30. Beautiful.

It's a good thing I know who is pregnant, divorced or just crazy now. Those are the things that keep me functioning everyday, not sleep. Who needs sleep?

Shifting was Luke's very first day as a middle school teacher. This is a new season of our lives and we are excited about it. It happened kind of unexpectedly and randomly, but we felt like God was leading Luke in that direction so off to school he went.

I had the best of intentions to get up and take a picture of him before he left for school for the first day but I had been up working hard on Facebook all night and didn't even hear him leave.

I'm happy to say that this new job has brought us closer together. Tuesday night we worked together on getting his classroom rules together and argued no more than 20 times in a 5 minute period.

Luke kept saying "THIS is why we could never work together" which I thought was strange cause I'm pretty sure we already work together in a little thing called LIFE.

Luke said his first day was great and the kids thought his classroom rules looked the best. Actually I made that part up but I'm sure if you asked them that's what they would say.

He also said there is already some rumor about him and his beard going around school. Interesting. I've known him for 8 years and never once thought about making a rumor about his beard. Actually I didn't even know he had a beard. I need to look closer I guess.

Obviously we are having fun with him transitioning into this new role.

Well it's 10:00 so I better hit the hay. I have a date with Facebook around 4:30. If you aren't on there at that time you are missing out.

Please ignore the bags under my eyes.


  1. Oh girl I remember those days. Walker has never been much of a sleeper. And I LOVE to sleep! As far as the sheets, a trick someone taught me when Walker was little (and you may already do this) is to put one sheet on the bed, put a wet pad on top of it, then another sheet. That way, if he pees through the first sheet during the night, the pad will catch it and you'll still have one clean sheet left once you pull the other one off. Then when you're actually awake, you can do the acrobats it takes to change one of those things. Hope you have a longer sleep tonight!

  2. Oh my goodness I'm cracking up. I've been there in every situation except the husband teaching school. I'm the school teacher in the family but we argue just like y'all. And when I'm on fb at 4:00 a.m. I often wonder why all "why the heck are people posting at 3:00 in the morning?" Then I remember that I'm the only person over 29 on fb at such an ungodly hour. Anyway this comment us getting too long but oh honey, I feel your pain. ;)

  3. Sounds like you are enjoying this new season! How exciting!! I think the lack of sleep thing will pass soon:) or so I've heard! Little kiddos change your whole life huh?!

  4. this post was hysterical. congrats to luke on his new job!

  5. Megan you seriously make me laugh so hard. First of all, crib sheets are a beast, but I prefer them to my own fitted sheet. I think it's because we have a memory foam thingy on top of our mattress but changing that beast makes me ache and sweat. Second, I knew when you said that Luke got a job teaching Middle School that he'd be the HOT topic amongst all the middle school kids (namely girls). Just wait until they figure out he looks like Jacob from Twilight. Oh, and about the diapers leaking UNSOLICITED ADVICE WARNING: Manning leaked a lot, but if we put him in a size bigger at night it helped, and you have to make sure to cinch it really tight around the waist. Normally his tabs are completely overlapped.

    If all else fails, just start layering the diapers...two or three ought to do the trick. :)

  6. Hilarious post! Good luck to Luke in his new career!

  7. Luke is going to make an AWESOME middle school teacher! Changing the crib sheet is the worst (especially in the early morning hours). The Ultimate Crib Sheet is one of the BEST inventions in my opinion. It snaps on and off and makes changing the sheet an easier chore. :) I bought ours at Babies R Us.

  8. I can't wait to hear more stories about Luke's new job. He is going to be a great teacher.

  9. Hahaha! I love your writing! Cooper has always been a good sleeper, but other than a few weeks here and there, he wakes up around 4-5am, just bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for the day. And I'm stumbling around looking a hot mess. The few times he's slept until 7 give me hope for the future. That pic of Eli in your bed is soooo adorable! Those sweet cheeks! I can't wait to hear more about how Luke likes teaching. I'm glad he enjoyed his first day!

  10. This was hilarious. Wyatt never wakes up before 8, but just happened to this morning at you guessed it...4! I was frustrated, until I read your blog. So fitting! And, like someone else said, layers those sheets up! I have 4 sets (sheet+pad). I've only removed the first layer because it was grossing me out that he was still sleeping on it, but such a breeze!

  11. I totally agree-changing a crib sheet seriously makes me sweat. I HATE doing it. And I also completely agree about the diaper. I might have a breakdown if David's diaper leaks one more time!! But that picture of Eli is so, so sweet. I just want to munch on his chubby arms and chin!

  12. Congrats to Luke on the new job!!!

  13.!! i couldn't agree with you more! leak-proof diapers seem like an easy concept, what's the deal huggies and pampers??? and i get that crib sheets need to fit tightly for safety reasons, but it for sure seems like it would be easier to wrestle a Tasmanian devil into a ziplock bag. days i change our babe's sheets i count that as my work out for the day :-p

  14. Congrats to Luke (& you) on the new adventure!

  15. That is the sweetest little picture of Eli ever :) And I know what you mean about crib sheets! I didn't have bumpers on the crib for several months and it wasn't as bad because I could lift up the mattress (even though that thing is so heavy!) But now with the bumpers it's practically impossible.

  16. I am as creepy as you are..considering I catch up on all my blogs during middle of the night feedings. My husband is a middle school teacher also. Luke will be great!!

  17. Not sure if you knew but my husband's a high school teacher. What was that we were saying a while back about our "life paths" being similar? :-) Now if I could just figure out a way to only work part time like you, I'd be livin' the dream!

    You're in for some fun stories from school. Yesterday, JD had a kid have a panic attack (or at least that's the closest thing he could imagine it being) from having to TYPE on a computer for "too long." Poor baby.

    Also, I second the comment about The Ultimate Crib Sheet from BRU. Total lifesaver.

  18. I love your blog so much. You are so hilarious and honest, its awesome. Keep blogging lots!

  19. Congrats to your husband! It takes special people to be middle school teachers! He'll be great!

  20. Love your blog!! Have you tried the Huggies Overnights? Those really helped with my little boy. I'm also a middle school teacher, so best of luck to your hubs!!

  21. too funny.

    good luck to your husband with his new gig!


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