Baby Products We Love - Months One - Three

Three months ago I started a post about our favorite baby products for Eli's first month.

And then life happened and I forgot to update it.

So I decided to make it more specific and make it about our top 10 favorite baby products for the first through third months of life with a newborn.

In no particular order, here they are:

1. Swaddle Designs Receiving Blankets

These blankets are so great and worked great to keep Eli extra tight. The swaddle blankets come with directions on the side, in case you don't know how to swaddle (or your husband doesn't know how to swaddle) so it makes them so easy to use. Plus they come in lots of super cute designs to choose from. And the fabric is soft but just the right consistency to keep it extra tight. It's like it sticks together or something. Clearly I'm not doing a good job of explaining them but I love them.

2. Summer SwaddleMe

Another swaddler that I love. This one has velcro so it was good for getting it extra tight. Eli was a little escapee artist and started escaping from his swaddle pretty early, so the velcro helped to get it tight, although he would still get out of it. But its great to keep in the house when somebody else is babysitting who might know how to swaddle. Anybody can put velcro together!

3. Aden and Anais

Yet another swaddle blanket I love. Can you tell we are all about swaddling over here? These are awesome. They are so soft, really big, thin and made of natural muslin. I find myself using these for all sort of things, not just swaddling but also wiping up spit up, and lots of other things. They come in super cute patterns. I found out this weekend that they make great bibs. I will definitely be scooping up some of those!

4. WubbaNub pacifiers

You have probably seen the WubbaNub pacifier in LOTS of our pictures of Eli. We LOVE the WubbaNub. Prior to having Eli I had noticed these pacifiers on other blogs but didn't know just how awesome they were. In January I got one as a baby shower gift I was excited, but still didn't know much about the pacifier. Then when Eli was here and couldn't keep any pacifier in his mouth I remembered I had two of these stashed away. I quickly got one out sanitized it and stuck it in his mouth. (well when I say I, I mean my mom did all of that because I was too tired to eve think) It was love at first suck. These pacifiers are SO GREAT. When he was tiny the animal on the end provided enough weight to hold in the pacifier, and also enough length that allowed us to swaddle over it and hold it in place while he slept. Now that he is a bit older he holds onto the animal and sometime he can even get it back in his mouth without assistance. I suggest the WubbaNub pacifiers to EVERYONE. Plus you can throw them in the washing machine for easy cleaning!

5. Summer Video Monitor

I struggled with deciding whether we should get a video monitor or not, but I am very glad we decided to get one. Our house isn't super big or anything so at first I didn't see the necessity in getting a video monitor, but now I understand that the size of the house does't matter. When Eli is sleeping in his crib it is so nice to be able to watch him to see if he is sleeping, or just staring off, or if he came unswaddled or any sort of thing. I'm sure as he gets older and moves around more I will love this product even more!

6. Bouncy Chair

This bouncy chair has saved us many times. First off, despite it's name of a bouncy chair, it does not bounce. I'm not sure why it is called that? I mean if I move it up and down it will bounce, but it is not something that happens on its own. However I still love it. Eli hangs out in this while I'm taking a shower, or cooking, or running around cleaning. When he was tiny he hated his swing, but loved to sit in his bouncy chair. It vibrates and I always turn that on and he seems to love it. Now that he is older he tries to kick the little birds that hang from it. Actually I thought they were birds but I think they are insects or something. WHATEVER they are he tries to kick them. He has never cried while sitting in his bouncy seat.

After typing this I realized that our bouncy seat is no longer carried by Babies R Us or Target so maybe it is discontinued?

7. Diaper Bag Dispenser

I love love love this Arm & Hammer diaper bag dispenser. I ALWAYS have it with me in the diaper bag and use it all the time. Each bag has baking soda in it and smells nice and fresh, so if you are at a place where a trash can is not close by, or at a friend's house who doesn't have babies and you don't want to stink up their house with a dirty diaper you can put it in this bag, tie it up tight and stick it in your bag to throw away later. Seriously, these are life savers. I have used them many times when I had to hurry and change a diaper in the car, or when I went to visit my office and didn't want to stink up the office with a diaper and while visiting friends. This is a great invention.

8. Snugabunny Swing

Eli hated his swing at first, but I think it was because he was so tiny. Somewhere between 1 and 2 months he started to love his swing and even sometimes fusses until we put him in it and then is calm and content while swinging away, he just needs his alone time sometimes! I have no complaints about our swing and I would suggest it because it plugs in. No need to keep endless amounts of extra batteries in our house!

9. K'tan Wrap

I blogged about my love for the K'tan wrap here. I still use it and still love it. P.S. the fact that this picture says "a womb with a view" makes me laugh a lot.

10. Ipad

This may seem weird and silly but this thing SAVED me during those late night feedings. It is so much easier to hold than a laptop and I would keep it on my night stand for easy access when a 2:00am feeding came along. Those first few weeks you are so exhausted and it takes everything in you to not fall asleep while nursing in the middle of the night. This thing was my life saver. I would watch movies on netflix at night, I would read books, get on Facebook and stalk everybody I'm friends with, read blogs from beginning to end and even tweet in the middle of the night.

And there we go. Our top 10 products. I am already compiling the list for months four through six!

Odds and Ends

1. For whatever reason I have become fully engrossed in the Casey Anthony trial. I watch it everyday when I'm home and at work I listen to it as background noise. I find it all so sad and interesting. I was in 6th grade during O.J. Simpson's trial and I very clearly remember a lot of it; people talking about it and my parents watching it on TV. I know it has been said that this trial is the "OJ Simpson trial" of this generation and I think that is completely true. Everybody seems to be talking about it.

2. Luke has pointed out to me that as of lately most of my posts have lots of mistakes and I need to proof read before I post. I am sorry to say that I don't proof a lot of my posts and usually just try and get them done real quick so I can go play with my baby. I'm totally pulling the baby card on this one. If you see mistakes please forgive me. I will try and get better about it and this does not reflect who I am as a person.

3. Diet coke makes me feel weird but I continue to drink it. I mean WHAT is that about?? Completely ridiculous. But it tastes so good. I love the way it burns. I have problems.

4. I could really go for some Mexican food in my life right now. I am hoping that there are chips, queso, salsa and tortillas in my future this weekend. Along with a big diet coke.

5. I started the last Harry Potter book last night. It has taken me entirely too long to get through this series. But I love the movies and wanted to read all the books. I love the books also but they take me awhile to get through as I'm not usually a "fantasy" person, but I absolutely cannot wait for the last movie!!! Every single time the movies are on ABC family I sit and watch them all, several times. There is just something about them that I love. I will be so sad that there won't be a new movie to look forward to.

6. I'm sure most of you know that I sell Scentsy. Well I got our July warmer of the month last week and I was SO excited. Look how adorable it is!!! It is the first 3 piece warmer that Scentsy has made. I predict this will be a big seller! The cute warmer:

7. I am a HUGE Big Brother fan, in fact I think I've blogged about it on here before. I have watched every season (except one when I was in the hospital for the beginning of it and didn't get hooked like I usually do) and cannot wait for the new season to start. I heard through the Big Brother grapevine (I follow several Big Brother gossip sites on twitter) that they are bringing back past powerful couples. I cannot wait to see who they bring back. If they bring back Dr. Will Kirby my heart will be SO happy.

8. I'm almost done with my product review of our top 10 favorite baby products for months one through three. It was hard to pick our top 10 but I think I did it.

9. I left my razor in the hotel when we were on our trip last week. Right now I am REALLY missing the days when I was pregnant and didn't need to shave. I didn't fully appreciate just how awesome that was. I'm at Target 15 times a week, you would think I could remember to purchase a razor. It's sort of a necessity.

10. I need to admit, I cannot get into pinterest. It just doesn't float my boat. I might change my mind later but for now, no thanks.

Picture Dump

I thought about doing a Wordless Wednesday today but then I remembered that I have no idea how to be "wordless".

I'm sure my life would have a lot less drama and stressful moments if I did in fact know how to be wordless.

It would be wonderful.

So instead I will call this a little picture dump. Some of my favorite pics from the last couple of weeks.

Well, any picture of Eli is my favorite, but I really like these.

The dumpage:

Eli modeling a new outfit that a sweet friend from the bloggy world sent him. I LOVE this outfit. It is so soft and seems so comfy/cozy and fits him perfectly.

This picture is from a couple of weeks ago when my mom, sister and nephew were staying with us for a couple of days so my mom could keep Eli during my 2nd week of work. For some reason this picture came out grainy but I still like it! My mom took this picture of Luke and I doing our bedtime routine with Eli. We alternate nights on who sits in the chair and holds Eli and reads the book, and who is the book holder. My favorite part is holding the book because I LOVE to watch Eli's face as we looks at all the pictures. It is the cutest thing ever. Luke's parents bought Eli this chair to keep at their house before he was even before. This past weekend we were at their house so I put Eli in it for the first time and he loved it. Luke snapped this picture of Eli smiling at me as I was asking if he loved his chair. He did love it. He looked like such a big baby sitting in it. I think he liked sitting up and being up higher than usual.
Eli holding onto both is Sophie teether and his giraffe wuba nub. He has two wuba nubs a giraffe and a lion and he usually prefers the giraffe. I think it is easier for him to hold

My mom was keeping Eli yesterday and sent me this picture with the caption:

"Yo, give me some milk"

It made me laugh at work. A lot.

I'm not sure how I could have even shown these picture and made it wordless. I feel like everything in life needs to be explained.

Also, I totally never wanted to be one of those moms that is constantly showing her favorite pictures of her baby, because I KNOW that nobody thinks my baby is as cute as I do.

However I have become that mom.

One of my goals that I'm trying to stick to AGAIN was to blog for me and not just because I know other people read. So I'm trying that out AGAIN.

Expect more picture dumps in the future!

Goals: An Update.

Goals. 2011. An update.

If that's what you want to call it. What is the opposite of an update? A down date?

Perhaps we could just say ZERO PROGRESS. That might best sum up my update of my 10 goals I set for myself for 2011.

At the beginning of January I set a lofty list of goals for the new year.

And out of the 10 goals I stuck to 1 of them. ONE.

You would think it would be the one that said "spending more time with God" because it is so importnat.

Or perhaps the one where I vowed to cook for my husband and plan new meal to cook every weak.

But no oh no, it was neither of those.

I set so many wonderful gaols for myself, and I had every intention of sticking to them all, but sadly, here I am at the end of June 2011 and it seems that I only stuck to one goal. I do not say this with pride, but instead I'm a bit ashamed to admit that the only goal I have stuck to is putting all new black plastic hangers in our closet.

Seriously.

I only memorized 4 bible verses for the year so far, I use my trusty ole camera phone instead of taking the time to learn my camera, and I haven't bought one Christmas present like I planned, but by golly I've got a closet almost completely full of black hangers.

Priorities people. Priorities.

And because I'm an overachiever I actually upped the anty in that particular goal. Instead of merely replacing all the hangers in my closet with black hangers, I only replace clothes that we wear. So at the end of the year if any clothes are still hanging from those yucky wire hangers, I will know that the article of clothing on that hanger has not been worn in a year and can be removed from my clost and donated.

I was pretty proud for coming up with that particular goal.

I'm not sure where the downward slide of not sticking with my goals occurred.

Maybe a week after I set them?

No, I take that back I did stick to memorizing scripture for awhile, and I did a good job at updating my Project 365 on my blog for a couple of months, and I even tried a few new recipes.

But then at the beginning of March I gave birth to a HUMAN and all lofty goals and desires to stay on track went out the wayside.

If I had been thinking - or better yet if I knew what was to come I would have made one goal and only one and it would have been: Learn to function on as little sleep as possible.

I acheive that goal each and every day.

Lately I had been thinking about how sad it was that I didn't stick to my goals and I was a failure, and then I though, WAIT, it's only mid year. Sure I have failed in most of my goals up until this point, but I can use this time to reevaluate and then move forward with my goals.

So that is what I am doing to help to get myself back on track. Just because I haven't stuck to my goals up till now doesn't mean I just need to give up for the year. I can get back on track.

Consider this my midyear review. I'm giving myself an E for Effort for the first 5(ish) months and going to try and get a P for Progress for the reaminder of the year.

I imagine my goals will be a little different next year. I will cut myself more slack next year and I will probably have more goals centered around my family time and Eli.

But you live and learn.

Did you set goals for the year? Are you sticking to them? Do you need to give yourself a midyear review?

I really do love goals and holding myself accountable. Hopefully I have better progress at the end of the year. And more sleep. Yes Lord, please, more sleep.

Mini Getaway

On Wednesday afternoon last week, Luke, Eli and I loaded up in the car and went on a mini-getaway.

Due to the fact that we had a baby 3 months ago and I just started back up at my job and don't need to take a lot of time off, we decided not to do a big vacation this year and just go on a small trip.

We feel that it is very important each year for our family to take a "time out" from life and just get away and relax. It doesn't have to be something elaborate or expensive or even long, just a couple of days away with nothing on the agenda with those that you love can do body good.

So off we went for our getaway and we had a great time! We pretty much just ate, shopped at outlet malls and relaxed in our hotel room the whole time and it was nice.

We did rent a movie in the hotel room for first night that we were there, but both of us fell asleep about 30 minutes into it. We were tired!

The hotel we stayed at had a crib waiting for us when we got there and Eli did so good sleeping in it. I was afraid it might mess up his schedule but he did pretty good, I was a proud momma!

Some pics from the weekend:

This picture was the first night on our trip and as soon as I took it I said "YOU HAVE ON THAT SAME FLIPPING T-SHIRT!!!!!!!" I seriously couldn't believe he had it on again! (but I didn't even notice until I took the picture)

The next day at lunch, me with Eli trying to keep him entertained:

We spent a lot of time shopping at outlet malls, I thought Luke might get bored but he never did, it was a good time.

It is a whole new ballgame shopping with a stroller. Sometimes it is hard to get it to fit in between clothes and taking it into the dressing room is annoying, BUT I do love the purpose it serves as a clothes holder:

The contents of the "clothes holder":

Luke taking a little break to feed the babe:

Our little family on the way to dinner: This is the only family photo we have. I'm not really a shy person but I don't like asking people to take our picture, I'm always afraid I'm bothering them. But I don't mind taking pictures for other people.

Luke took this picture of Eli and I just love it. He has both his teether and his pacifier in his hands ready to go! He is getting so big right before our eyes!

We had such a good time on our little trip together, and of course I'm sad it's over. I always get a little bit of the "vacation blues" after we get home.

I have said it many times before and will probably say it many more times; I am so thankful for Luke and Eli. I thought I was so lucky to have Luke in my life and now with the added addition of Eli it just seems too good. My cup definitely overflows.

Liquid Gold

Breastfeeding, oh breastfeeding.

I have said a couple of times that I would do a post about breastfeeding. But each time I thought about writing an actual post on the topic I would back out.

I'm not really sure what to say on the whole subject, and I don't want to come across like I think I'm a know it all or anything like that because believe me that is not the case. And I also think sometimes, when a person talks about how she breastfeeds others assume that they she is a PRO-BREASTFEEDING-ALL-THE-WAY-JUST-SAY-NO-TO-FORMULA kind of person. And that is not the case either.

This is just my story about my knowledge of breastfeeding (which isn't a lot) and my two cents:

I went into pregnancy not really knowing much about breastfeeding. To me it was something you did after your baby was here. Yes I thought it was that simple. I never really entertained the whole Formula vs. Breast milk debate, as I had no reason to. What college girl, or newly married young adult actively pursues information about formula vs breastfeeding when she is not even thinking of having a baby at that point? Not this girl.

It was during my pregnancy that people started asking if I was planning on breastfeeding. I didn't know much about breastfeeding, but to me it only made sense that yes I would be breastfeeding. Why wouldn't I? If I had working milk, and Eli drank the working milk, why wouldn't I breastfeed??

After Eli arrived he latched on just fine and didn't really have trouble nursing. Which means one thing. I was in a lot of pain. Now, you will have people tell you that it is not supposed to hurt, however I beg to differ. Something is latched on to your body sucking away to their hearts content at one spot on your body causing the skin to become raw and very tender. AND THIS IS HAPPENING EVERY THREE HOURS. It's gonna hurt. Sometimes (a lot of times) the pain felt way worse than any contraction I ever had. And those hurt. A lot.

I have since realized that the pain should go away. If you are still in pain after a couple of weeks then you have a problem. But at first, the pain is there and it is real.

Also, prior to getting pregnant I did not realize that babies ate every 3 hours. I'm not sure why I didn't know this, as I've been around babies my entire life. Perhaps it's because I wasn't the one that was strapped down to a chair feeding them, but it's true, a baby eats every 3 hours. And if you are breastfeeding, it takes up to about 2 hours of that 3 hours (at first).

So, make the most of that last hour!!!!!

Now, this is the point in the post where it takes a spin.

Somewhere between 2 and 3 months of nursing my feelings changed. It had quit hurting and I had developed a routine. Instead of it being an inconvenience it just became a natural part of my life.

I learned to plan ahead. If I am going to lunch with friends, or I know I will be in the car a long time I have learned to schedule his feedings around what I will be doing.

I have also learned to go with the flow. I have fed Eli in the backseat of my car in a random parking lot MANY times, and I've also been known to sneak in a dressing room or two when I'm shopping and Eli needs to eat.

I've also become the girl who whips out her Hoter Hider and begins feeding her baby, wherever she is or whoever she is around (except I don't do it at restaurants) This took LOTS of practice at home before I would do it in public. I'm ok with being the girl who nurses behind the Hoter Hider, I am NOT ok with being the girl who flashes her goods to the whole world. No thank you.

And there are still days where I do get a little frustrated. Pumping at work is no fun and is annoying, and trying to find something to wear that not only fits my new curvy body, but also has easy access to my tools has proved to be difficult, but for now I will keep trucking along. In the words of a good friend, I can fight a bear for a little while. This is just a season of my life, and I want to enjoy every moment of it and not just wish it away.

ALSO, I am by no means opposed to formula. I was a formula fed baby and I'm a perfectly healthy, well-functioning, human being. With the exception of a couple of lung collapses and a mind that worries non stop and a case of hypochondria that might force any mother to breastfeed if that is the end result of formula. I kid. I kid.

And Eli isn't an exclusively breastfeed baby. Right now he takes formula about 10% of the time and breastmilk about 90% of the other time. This works for us and it works for him.

So that is my two cents on breastfeeding. It caught me off guard, I had moments where I wanted to give up, but I don't like to give up on anything just because it is uncomfortable for me or inconvenient. Yes it hurt, and yes it took awhile to get used to, but I couldn't imagine not doing it because of ME.

And looking back that time that seemed so exhausting with the constant feedings and ME being the only one that could feed him, seems like it passed so quickly. I feel like I did a lot of unnecessary whining. I'm glad I didn't give up. There were certainly days where I thought I couldn't do it anymore. When the next baby comes, I will know that the hard period is so short and I can get through it.

In everything in the baby world my advice is always do what works best for you and your baby. I'm not sure how long I will breastfeed but right now it works for us, and I would be sad to quit doing it. So we will keep moving forward!

P.S. Nursing doesn't make your weight come off. Whoever told you that is lying to you. If somebody's weight fell off and they think it's because of nursing they are wrong. I think they are a person who would have lost the weight easily anyways and they think it's because of nursing. But that's just my opinion. I'm not bitter.

3 Month Pics and Father's Day Gift

I have to admit something. I am awful at gift giving.

I once heard somebody talking about how gift giving is a skill. Either you have the skill or you don't.

And I don't.

I try my hardest to think of the perfect gift for the special people in my life. And usually I end up over thinking over thinking over thinking and then the special day gets here when this special person needs a special gift and I have nothing.

It is awful and true.

However, now that I'm writing it all out, the problem might not be the lack of skill in gift giving but rather the over thinking and stressing.....hm...

Anyways,

With all the over thinking and over thinking I do, you can only imagine how stressed I was adding ANOTHER person to the list of people I need to buy for on father's day.

And not only is it another person, but it's one of the hardest people EVER to shop for. The only thing he REALLY wants is a new guitar and I don't have several thousand dollars sitting around so he won't be getting one of those anytime soon.

I thought and thought about it and I couldn't come up with something that I felt would be the perfect gift for his first father's day. I had some major anxiety going on.

And to add to the stress of trying to find the perfect father's day gift I was also stressing about whether or not I should do 3 month pics for Eli.

Side note, I'm beginning to realize I add a lot of unnecessary stress to my life. Imagine that.

Well I finally decided to go ahead with 3 month pics. And then a couple of days before the pics I had a brilliant idea. Why not take a couple of pics of Eli and I together to give Luke for his father's day gift.

GENIUS, if I do say so myself.

So last week very early one morning before it got too hot, Eli and I met a photographer at a park and took some pics.

I didn't get them printed out before Father's day but it actually worked out better because I let Luke choose what pictures he wanted to put on his desk.

After making several pitiful comments about how he wasn't included in "family" pictures he chose these two pictures:

I'm excited to get them printed and framed for him.

I was beyond pleased with how the pictures turned out and I'm SO glad I decided to do 3 month pictures. Eli has changed leaps and bounds from his newborn pics that we took at just 4 days old. These pictures are so special to me. Our photographer was amazing and I will definitely use her again!!

Here are some of our favorite pictures:

I have looked at these pictures no less than 5,000 and I will probably look at them some more. I plan on getting a canvas made of one of the pics so I need to figure out which one. Well maybe I need to get several canvases made :-)

Father's Day Weekend

We had another great weekend here in the Tree household.

I love that Luke has Fridays off so we get to spend the whole day together.

Friday morning we woke up and hit the ground running. We had several errands to run and a special trip the hospital to see a new baby scheduled for the day.

It was so weird to be back at the same hospital where I delivered Eli. I feel like it was forever ago, but at the same time I feel like it was yesterday.

While I was there I asked one of the nurses if it was normal to become obsessed with your nurse while staying in your hospital. She gave me a pitiful-bless-your-heart-sweetie kind of look and said "oh no are you one of those girls that tries to become our friend on Facebook?". True story. So I'm thinking no, it is not normal to become obsessed with your nurse while staying in the hospital.

However I still stand by the fact that your hormones are OUT OF CONTROL while in the hospital and you cannot help what your emotions do during that time.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

It was fun to see our friends and their new baby. He is absolutely precious. I can't believe how big my baby looked next to their newborn. Time is speeding by! Eli was asleep in this picture:

Saturday we woke up and started some work in the yard before it got too hot. Our flower bed has needed some work for awhile and still needs work but at least we trimmed our rose bushes and got some mulch down.

And I'm pretty sure that Luke and I are the LEAST qualified people in the world to own roses bushes. They were planted before we moved in and I think we have successfully led them to their last straw, or last 'petal" if you will (I seriously crack myself up).

Saturday shall also be known as the day of alarms. Luke's car alarm, that we had NO IDEA HE HAD would not stop going off all morning. Eventually it locked down his car and nothing worked and it wouldn't turn on. After further investigation (calling the car dealership) we found out that this is what his particular car model does when it needs a new battery.

Ummm what? Dumbest idea ever Japanese car maker who shall remain unnamed.

So Saturday we spend money on mulch and a new car battery. Fun times.

Sunday was Luke's first father's day and Eli wanted to wear his "I heart my dad" shirt. So of course I let him. I thought he looked extra precious for his daddio.

My two boys together. So handsome.

And for the extra observant crowd, yes my husband is in fact wearing the same shirt he wore on Friday. Don't worry I washed it in between wearings. Once he finds a t-shirt he likes, he wears it a little too much. There is nothing I can do to break him of this. I have tried. I'm sure there are 5 million pictures of him on this blog in the same blue NY Giants shirt. I love the man, not his habits.

So that was our weekend! It was a great one! I'm so thankful that I have an awesome baby daddy for my son and also thankful for a great dad myself. Happy Father's Day Dad!!

Now it's Sunday night and I'm ready to kick off the weekend tomorrow. I'm hoping it's a great week!!

A New Kind of Insecurity

I've had several jobs in my life, some were good and some were bad. Some didn't last long and some felt like they would never end.

And now I find myself in a new job. It's by far the dirtiest job I've ever had, no other job in my life has required my getting pooped on and then not showering for at least 24 hours after that.

And it is the most exhausting as I find myself still "working" at 4:00 in the morning when my boss needs to eat or needs a diaper change or perhaps just needs his pacifier put back in his mouth.

But I've encountered something in this job that I've never dealt with before in any other job.

Intense insecurity.

From the moment my sweet Eli was born it has been amazing the amount of insecurity I have felt.

I'm telling you, satan really knows what he is doing with a mom's mind these days.

I find myself constantly sizing myself up to other moms. Am I doing what they are doing? Do I pay attention to my baby as much as they do? Do I work with my baby as much as they do?

And now that I've gone back to work the mind games have gotten worse.

I feel guilty that I enjoy working. In fact there may have been some tears shed about the fact that I actually enjoy working.

I do not like leaving my baby, and I do not like being away from him, however I do enjoy getting out and doing something that I love. I enjoy interacting with other adults and getting some sort of satisfaction out of completing a task at work.

And yet I find myself constantly wondering what other people think and if they are thinking that I'm a bad mom because I choose to work part-time?

Many times at night I will ask Luke "do you think I'm a bad mom"? It's not that I'm asking this question because I think he will say "why yes I was just thinking that" or to get some sort of pity answer such as, "no you are the BEST MOM EVER".

In fact, I don't even know why I ask it, I know that Luke thinks I'm a good mom, he tells me all the time, but still that question is ALWAYS at the forefront of my mind.

Am I a good mom?

Will I raise my son right?

What if he walks or talks or crawls late? Is that my fault?

Do I spend enough time interacting with him?

Is it bad if sometimes he sits and rocks in his swing?

Is it bad if I watch TV while Eli is awake?

And the questions go on and on and on.

And beyond the questions I constantly feel thoughts entering my mind, telling me that I'm not a good mom, that I should be doing more.

Of course, as a girl I've had insecurity throughout my life. But this is different. I can handle insecurity about my clothes or weight, or hair, or even my feet (my feet are U-G-L-Y) but handling insecurity when it comes to my child and the way I'm raising him? That is a whole new ballgame!

So for now I will daily battle the thoughts and know that I'm doing the best I can in my new job.

It's not always easy, and sometimes the thoughts win and other times I win.

And I hope as the days and years go on that I will win more than the thoughts will win. I don't expect the insecurity to go away but I hope and plan to become more secure in my new job.

And even though I've never been this insecure or felt this vulnerable, it is by far the best job I've ever had with the cutest boss ever!

Eli is 3 Months!

Another month has passed and Eli is now 3 months!

He continues to grow more alert with each passing day and everyday we go to sleep wondering if we could possibly love him more, and somehow we wake up each and everyday loving him even more!

It has only been 3 months since he came into our lives, but we don't really remember what we did before Eli was here. We think we must have been bored a lot! :-)

The month between 2 and 3 has been the most significant so far. He is really turning into a little baby and not just a teeny newborn anymore. He had a big weight gain this month!

Eli, here is what you have been up to this month:

- You are in size 1 diapers but we are about to move to size 2!

- You are wearing 3 month clothes. Some 0-3 month outfits fit but not a lot of them.

- I don't know your exact weight but I have weighed myself while holding you and I'm guessing it is around 12-13 pounds.

- You have become quite the "talker". You like to just sit and coo and talk and talk to mom and dad. We love it.

- You rolled over a couple of times from your back to your belly, but immediately you do not like this new position and fuss to be rolled back over.

- You have started doing a little cackle, not a big belly laugh but a funny little cackle. It is usually spontaneous and makes us laugh a lot!

- You LOVE your playmat and talk to your octopus friend a lot. We always want to know what he is saying to you.

- You still like your swing, but not as much as last month.

- Mom went back to work part-time this week and although you have been doing such a good job of nursing you had trouble going back and forth between nursing and the bottle (pumped breast milk) but mom is still working with you and you seem to be getting the hang of it again

- When you take a bottle you eat about 4-6 ounces every 3 hours.

- You discovered your hands even more this month and they are ALWAYS in your mouth. You have gotten your thumb in your mouth a couple of times and you love that. I predict you will be a thumb sucker

- You are staying awake a lot more during the day these days.

- You love getting your diaper changed and just talk and coo the whole time.

- You never fuss when you have a wet or dirty diaper. I constantly have to check to see if you need to be changed because you would wear the same diaper all day and never complain.

- You love taking walks and when you are fussy if we take you outside you immediately calm down.

Baby Eli, we love you so much and we are so thankful for you!

Some of my favorite Eli pics from the past month:

Questions Questions

Since I started using Twitter in 2008 I've used it to ask many, many questions.

In fact it's probably a little ridiculous how many questions I ask on Twitter, but seriously, I ask one question and I usually have multiple answers that give me insight that I obviously did not have myself. I. Love. It.

I'm sure all my real life friends think I'm a bit bonkers for always saying "well I asked my twitter friends and they said...." But to me it's the best place to bring my questions because they are usually resolved shortly after posting my question.

But tonight I decided to branch out from Twitter and use my blog to ask some VERY random questions that have crossed my mind recently. If you feel so inclined to answer please go ahead:

1. How do you store your toothbrush? I feel like those tooth brush holders that go in your drawer make your tooth brush all stinky and moldy but then I feel like those holders that you put on the counter (pictured below)are not very sanitary. I saw somewhere that when you flush the toilet little particles shoot all over and I always picture them going on my toothbrush

Fieldcrest® Luxury Mirror Toothbrush Holder : Target (clipped to Polyvore.com)

2. Moms: Did anybody out there use a highchair that sits in your kitchen chair seat and NOT like it? I have one of those high chairs but I'm contemplating taking it back and getting a regular high chair. Thoughts?

3. How often do you mop? Do you consider a shark steam mop mopping or should I be doing something besides steam mopping?

4. Moms: How long did you leave your baby in your room before moving them to their own room?

5. WHAT can we do to get Subway employees to stop letting their shirts touch our sandwiches?!?! (confused? read this). I'm about to quit eating there cause it grosses me out so much and I LOVE Subway.

OK, I have more household type questions but I will save those for a later date. Five is enough for now.

Feel free to answer any of the above questions!!

First day back!

Well today was my first day back at work and I am so happy to say that it went well - extremely well.

I honestly expected to cry this morning, a lot. But I actually didn't. I think I got it all out of my system last week.

It seems that the anticipation of the actual first day was worse than the actual day itself.

It also helps that for the month of June Eli gets to stay at our house with his grandmas.

He will start childcare in July but for the month of June our moms are taking turns driving here and keeping Eli for the three days that I am working.

So this morning I left Eli with Luke's mom and I knew he was safe and sound. She updated me throughout the day and texted me pictures of him.

I'm working Monday and Tuesday 8-5 and Wednesday 8-noon so by noon on Wednesday I will be home for the week with my baby. I'm so thankful that it worked out for me to go part time. I was not ready to leave my place of employment and my job duties, but I was also not ready to leave my baby all week. This seems that it is "the best of both worlds".

I know that I will have good days and bad days. I'm sure there will be a couple of days here and there where I will miss Eli all day and just want to hold him, but I also know that most days will be good days and I will enjoy my time at work and know that Eli is enjoying his time and is in safe hands.

And can we talk for a minute about HOW WEIRD it was to return to work after being gone for 12 straight weeks?!? I honestly felt like I never left.

I keep thinking it is March and feel totally thrown off when I realize it is in fact June.

My office is the same, my desk is the same, my entire work routine is the exact same. I was gone for 60 days, yet I feel like I didn't miss a day. Randomly throughout the day I would think OH YEAH I HAVE A BABY NOW. It was just bizarre.

I also never pumped milk while sitting at my desk 60 days ago. That was interesting.

Here is a picture of us thatLuke snapped before I left for work.

Actually I asked him to take it. I like how I made it sound like he spontaneously picked up the camera and we just happened to pose. It did not happen like that. But I have to say it was much less dramatic then the weekly pregnancy posts we took for several months. Those fights will go down in history.

Eli and I on my first day back to work:

I just re-read this post and realized it is totally sporadic and doesn't really flow. That is what happens when you write a post at 11:00 at night after working all day when you were up with a baby for several hours the night before.

So basically expect lots of posts like this.

Happy Monday!

Randomocities

1. Due to the fact that I am going back to work on Monday I made it a goal to do NOTHING this week but sit at home with my baby boy. And that is what I've done. In fact Luke and I were joking around tonight that I forgot what life is like on the outside of our neighborhood. I shall soon find out.

2. Although, I want to make sure and say, even though I haven't left the house in a couple of days, I have showered. I just shower and put my comfy clothes back on.

3. When Eli was a month old I started a post about baby products we love and planned to publish it the next day. Now that he is almost 3 months old I still haven't finished it. Hoping to do that soon.

4. I started reading blogs four years ago. When I first started reading blogs I added them all to my google reader. Over time some of those bloggers have quit, or don't blog as much and I have started reading a lot of new blogs that I haven't added to my reader. I'm thinking of just deleting all of the blogs that are in my reader now and starting from scratch!

5. My twitter account is private so in order to follow me you have to request to follow me. I was a bit irresponsible and quit looking at my twitter requests. I didn't know who was real and what was spam and so on, so I just quit looking. I then realized that some people think I have blocked them or denied them, which I have never done. SO if you have requested to follow me and I haven't approved it will you please let me know and I will go approve it. I feel totally vain writing that and I don't think I have a ton of people wanting to follow me or anything but I also don't want people to think that I have denied them. I've been denied it's not fun.

6. That was an entirely too long paragraph about #twitter.

7. I've started loving the #hashtag. I once thought it was stupid.

8. Remember that time we all got up and watched the royal wedding together? That was so fun. Can we do it again?

9. After years of resisting I finally started keeping a digital calendar. I am a big pens and paper girl but I like the idea that my one calendar on my computer can be synced to my phone, ipad and all of Luke's gadgets also. We will see how long this lasts, I'm a sucker for a paper calendar that I can keep in my purse.

10. I don't carry a purse anymore. I carry a diaper bag with a wallet in it. I also don't dress very cute anymore. I looked in the mirror the other day at my disheveled self and thought "so this is how it happens".

11. We don't have any weekend plans, which is actually nice because we have a very busy summer coming up. I know that because I just looked at my calendar on my computer. Look at me getting all techy.