Coming Home

On Wednesday, very early in the wee morning my son left his safe, little cocoon and entered the big scary world.

And today, I also was forced to leave my safe, little cocoon. By no choice of my own I had to leave the safe hospital that I have come to call home in the past 72 hours and embark into the real world.

My real world that is now made up of a living, breathing, crying human being that is my responsibility.

Does anybody else find it weird that the people that you have come to know and trust at the hospital put this baby in your hands, kick you out the door and basically say "peace out, have fun, don't get hurt!"

All the while I'm looking at them like, "ummm for the past 48+ hours you have brought me meals, helped me nurse, bathed him, checked his temp, took him when I needed to rest, kept an eye on me and now you just want to thrust me into the great unknown with this CHILD?!?!?"

There is something wrong with that system.

And the fact that I'm a bit hormonal might have something to do with how I am reacting to the whole situation. I was seriously sad to leave the nurses who I have come to know and love and asked one nurse if they get as attached to their patients as we do to them.

She just laughed and smiled a sweet smile. I'm thinking that means no. Something tells me that after checking my stitches numerous times throughout my stay there she simply sees me as her job and not as her BFF, which is now how I see her.

We've now been home for about 7 hours and so far all is pretty good. If someone was keeping score between who is crying more me or Eli.....I would be winning at this point.

Every time my crying starts up my mom (who is staying with us) just looks at Luke and says "don't worry it's just the hormones" and then we all continue on our merry way. Normal life has a new face.

Everything on the baby front is going well. Eli is asleep in his cradle and I'm about to go in and nurse him. I am loving each new thing I am experiencing, even if everything isn't easy. It's life and we are learning every step of the way.

I still can't believe that this precious baby that is now in front of me is the same baby that I carried around in my tummy. It blows my mind. I look at those little feet and think of how they once kicked me in the ribs. Amazing.

Here are some pics of us leaving the hospital today. If Eli looks tiny it's because he is. We aren't sure how we got such a tiny baby but we'll take him!

P.S. if you've ever wanted to know what I look like with no makeup and after I've cried numerous times about leaving a nurse that probably doesn't even remember me, please see above.