The First Trimester List

Since getting pregnant I've been compiling a little list of things that have happened to me during the 1st trimester. Most of these I was not expecting and I think it's my duty to let all the "not yet mommies" know about some of these. So here is my list of things I learned during the first trimester:

1. Contrary to how it looks in the mirror, the baby is in fact growing in your stomach and not your butt. Due to the rapid growth of my bum I thought for sure the baby was in there.

2. You will have more gas than you know what to do with. Most adolescent boys would be jealous of you. Your husband will be disgusted. You are growing his child. He will get over it.

3. Your husband will start to have sympathy pregnancy symptoms. And there ain't NOTHING cute about it.

4. If your husband says to you "you seem different is something wrong?" You have permission to hit him

5. It is completely normal to be craving a McDonald's big mac burger with large fries. Purchase said burger and fries. And then throw it in the trash because now the thought of eating burger and fries makes you want to hurl

6. Google is your worst enemy. STAY AWAY. I sat in front of the computer in tears more times than I would care to mention for fear that something was wrong with me, something wasn't wrong, I was only GROWING A HUMAN

7. If you tell your husband, "this week the sweet baby is growing little ears and a nose" and he says "eww" you have permission to hit him.

8. Even though you are hungry all the time you won't want to eat anything. Not because of morning sickness, or because it will make you want to vomit, but because every time you eat something there will be somebody or some website that will tell you the very food that you just consumed is bad for your baby. I was told not to eat a certain food because it wasn't good for the baby. I researched it and found people were on both sides of the issue (don't eat vs eat) so I got brave one day and ordered this certain food. I couldn't even take 3 bites. The first two bites were as if I was eating rat poison. I can't put anything in my body that has a .2% chance of harming the baby.

9. On that note, if you know of something that I shouldn't eat or drink. DON'T TELL ME. I'm better off not knowing. Trust me.

10. If you have pain in your elbow, big toe, eye, ear, and many other places it is most likely not related to what the baby is doing, and although the nurse is patient, she probably wishes you would stop calling.

11. Call it a "baby" bump all you want. In the first 10 or so weeks we all know its really just "I'm having a baby so now I eat whatever I want" bump"

12. Songs that you normally find corny and annoying now make you bawl like a baby

13. Every time you see a sweet sleeping baby you smile and yearn for those next months to fly by so you can hold your sweet babe

14. Every time you see a screaming baby you fall to the fetal position, cry to yourself and wonder what you've done to your life.

15. Do not buy food in bulk. No matter how good it looks in the grocery store, you may hate the sight of it once it is in your kitchen pantry.

16. You become much more aware of everything. Like your laptop on your lap. Is that bad? Is it hurting the baby? And then the crazy mind games start (continue).

17. When you wake up in the morning you are exhausted. Like just ran a marathon exhausted. Growing a human is tiring!

So there's my list. I'm sure there should be some more things should be on the list but I'm too tired to remember.

I am loving this whole experience. Its like I'm a living science experiment! I'm learning something new everyday. I'm just glad I'm not being graded for this science experiment. Those never turned out well for me during my school years.