Me Right Now

I have been disconnected from the blog world lately. When I sit down to write the words do not form like they once did and my mind is blank.

I am also insanely behind on reading all of my favorite blogs.

I hate this and it makes me sad because blogging has become such a big part of my life. I have met some of my best friends through blogging. Seriously. It's like the E-harmony for friends.

Friend-Harmony. Somebody market that quick.

Anyways I don't feel entirely disconnected from my blog friends because I keep up with a lot of friends through Twitter and this has helped me when I feel like my blogging days are over.

Today a sweet friend on Twitter reminded me that I just need to be myself on my blog. That is what first drew people to my blog, nobody expects me to always be "on" people just want me to be real.

It seems so simple, but when I received her simple message it really resonated with me.

I have always been real on this blog and I want to continue to be that way.

So for now, this is who I am right now, the real me on June 28, 2010.

I am an employee who is trying to balance a crazy new work load. Who is loving all of the new work, but at the same time overwhelmed and wanting to succeed in every way, without letting work overcome my every thought. An employee who is taking everything one day at a time.

I am a wife who loves my husband more than I ever thought I could. A wife who wants to cook dinner for my husband every night and keep a clean house, but realizes I can't always do this on my own and I'm learning to accept help. I am a wife who wants to walk beside my husband, I do not want to be spiritual dead weight that he has to drag.

I am a Christ-follower who is working through an ugly case of bitterness right now. A believer who often forgets to fill myself with the daily nutrients I need through some one-on-one time with my Creator. A person who fails everyday but strives to live a life that is pleasing to Him. A Christ-follower who is learning to not ask so many questions, but instead learn to seek Him more.

I am a girl who sometimes opens my mouth when I shouldn't. Who knows all to well what it feels like to wish I had just kept my mouth shut. But at the same time I am a girl who loves that trait about myself, learning to use it appropriately is a goal I am working towards.

I am a friend who is thankful for all of my friendships. Long distance and close, blog friend through email and blog friend turned real life friend, work friends, family friends, and friends who came out of nowhere. I am thankful for all of these friendships, and I hope that when people think of me they think of me as a good friend.

I am your typical "first born child" who is always worried about something and tries to "fix" everything, even when it's not my place to remedy the situation. I will (and have) spent hours laying awake at night worrying and trying to resolve a situation that is out of my hands. I am working on trusting God more (obviously).

I am a reader who is working through the Harry Potter series right now and is loving every minute of it.

I am an avid TV watcher who is currently obsessed with the series Friday Night Lights and can't believe I have lived this long without watching it.

I am a family person. I love family time so much and am thankful for the family that surrounds me. Not only do I have an amazing family, but I married into an amazing family. Blessed is a good way to describe how I feel when I think about my family.

I am a blogger who is sick and tired of Chinese spam comments and wants them to GO AWAY.

And lastly I am me. A me who is trying desperately to balance everything in my life and realizing that I can't always please everyone, solve every problem, or change everybody who I feel like needs to be changed. I am in a season of learning and growing. I stumble everyday but never take my eyes off of the One who created me to be me.