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New Pants, New Mirror, and B minus

This weekend I went to the mall and bought a new pair of dress pants.

I have been looking a bit drab at work lately and felt it as time to purchase a new pair of pants to spruce up my summer wardrobe a bit. I think looking nice at work is so important and here lately I have been failing in that area, so it was time to make a change.

I went to the mall, loaded with coupons of course, NEVER shop without coupons or pay full price for anything. IT ALL GOES ON SALE.

And that was your Public Service Announcement for the day brought to you by Megan.

I found a couple of pairs of pants, bought them, brought them home and tried them on.

Before I tell you about the pants,I have to tell you I got this new beautiful full length mirror at a discount store the other day (never pay full price for anything). I brought it home, hung it up (had Luke hang it up) and looked at myself in it and started crying.

This brand new, beautiful full length mirror is a mix between a carnival mirror and your reflection in the side a car.

In other words, short, squaty and penguin-like.

My husband is a tall, slim man who could car less about his reflection and even he said the mirror was a travesty and gave all mirrors everywhere a bad name.

Or something like that.

So here I am looking at my short, squaty, penguin-like self in the mirror and I feel something in my back pocket.

The back pocket of the new pants that I just purchased.

I reach in and pull out 3 empty earring holders.

So basically I just purchased pants that somebody took into a dressing room and used to steal jewelry.

Which really irritated me, because they used MY pants to steal. Even though they weren't my pants at the time. STILL, it irriated me.

And I am no stranger to shop lifting. Well I have never shop lifted, but I once worked at a large chain store that can be found in malls across America and we had a horrible shop lifting problem.

I eventually became the person that was in-charge of standing by the dressing rooms counting each article of clothing that went in, and each article of clothing that came out.

Also known as, talking to my friends, while pretending to work.

And I will never understand why I worked at this particular store, other than the fact that my best friend did.

This store charges $150 for one cotton t-shirt that could easily be purchased at Target for $20.

Have you ever heard somebody say, "omigosh I've turned into my parents?"

That above sentence is living proof that of that statement.

And I am still scarred from my time of employment at this store. Our manager would rate us on our appearance and one time my friend and I found his grading sheet (perhaps we sought it out) and he gave me a B minus.

I mean really, who gives somebody a B MINUS? Just give them a flipping plain B. The minus is unnecessary and hurtful.

I will forever think of myself as a B minus.

However it helps to remind myself that this said manager who gave me a B minus is probably alone somewhere, wearing "Fierce" cologne, crying, thinking about how he gave a high school senior who is still learning to love herself, a B minus and scarred her for life.

And it's also the reason why I can never shop in this store again. Plus they have naked people on the walls (who I'm sure are hotter than a B minus) and I don't care to see that nonsense.

Anyways, I got way off track. Clearly I have some belt up issues with ANDREW who gave me a B MINUS. Let's go back to present time:

So here I am standing in front of my short, squaty, penguin-like self holding empty earring holders and all of a sudden it dawns on me.

This is why people say to wash your clothes before you wear them. Because a THIEF could have tried on the pants before you and got their THIEF germs on them and now you are wearing THIEF pants.

I instantly felt dirty.

And then internally debated whether I wanted to wash these brand new pants and get them all stiff and have to go through that process of getting them to feel good again and be somewhat comfortable although we know they will never feel as good as they once did when you first purchased them, or wear pants that were once touched by a thief.

I chose the latter. Comfort is important to me

Comfort being important to me could also be the reason why I am a B minus.

And that's the story of my new pants, new mirror and old scar.

Also it's the reason I am reading So Long Insecruity and why I will never allow my kids to wear a shirt with a moose on it.

Flipping B minus.


  1. Well, for the record and if it makes you feel any better… I TOTALLY would have given you an A+++. Just sayin!! :)

  2. You never cease to not make me crack up (does that sound right?) - I'm always laughing (There) when I come here!!!

    BTW - I read somewhere that EVERY mirror distorts somehow, someway, so we never REALLY truly see what we look like in a mirror... great... that scares me...

  3. You write just like I think, which is why I just LOVE your posts! Good job today! I give you an A+!

  4. LOL I can't believe he graded you on appearance! I worked retail in the mall for 2 days. That's as long as I could take it...I'm a wimp.

    And I still buy my perfume from that store you're talking about. I've worn 8 for years and can't bring myself to stop!! Even though I'm at an age now that I really should be sending my nephews and nieces into the store to buy it for me. The music alone would make me go insane...I have to scream at the salesperson just to get their attention!

    Okay, I'll stop now...I could go on forever, but I'm sounding like a 80 year old woman.

  5. ugh...that store smells when you walk by it! is that the one?

    and really? a b minus? what a jerk.

    and another thing.... i wish we were hanging out and you were telling me this story in person!

  6. Girl you are NOT a B-. That's for sure!!

  7. What manager gives his employees grades on their appearances? Weird...

  8. I love your stories.

    I also worked at the store and girl I've also got some crazy stories!

  9. Ok, just so you know, you're not short, squatty, and penguin-like. You look fabulous!!

  10. Hahah, you're too funny! I too hate the moose store with naked people on the walls, and a strong cologne stench that makes me want to vomit.

  11. I have boycotted abercrombie so I feel your pain. It's ridiculous. I don't even walk into the store.


  12. I too worked at said "Moose Store" and hated it. Our manager would walk around at the beginning of each work day and "Tweek" our outfits. It was actually borderline sexual harassment the day he told all of us girls that the style was to show a bit of stomach and we should follow that trend when we dress for work. Yeah. If I would have told my parents that, I am sure I would have quit the moose two summer before I actually did. Don't feel bad are nowhere near a B minus. For reals :-)

  13. I have read your blog for a bit-and girl you make me laugh everytime!!You are not a B minus at all. I look forward to your stories!

  14. Boo to bad mirrors. I hope it's going back asap.

    I also worked at said smelly, shirtless, loud music store. Oh the adventures we would have there. We use to play sensor Olympics with the sensor tags. Events would include can you throw it up and get it to stay in the chandler make of horns. How many push ups can you do with your feet on the back counter and hands on the front counter. We made NO money but had fun.

  15. You are the best story teller ever! For the record, I HATE the moose store and you are so an A+ in my book!

  16. YOU ARE AN A-PLUS!!!!!! It's in all caps because I feel so strongly!!!! :) I loved this and am still laughing! I would have chose the latter, too.....there's just something about new clothes that haven't been messed up by the washer!! I just love you, Megan!

  17. Somehow I doubt that you have ever failed at looking nice!! ANd girl, you are an A+++!!!

  18. You always have the best stories!

  19. umm....we soooo want to see photos in the carnival mirror!

  20. Isn't it terrible the things adults say to kids / teenagers? They don't realize that stuff STICKS WITH A PERSON! I still remember my ballet instructor telling me (at the age of TWELVE) that if she could cut my feet off at the ankles (I have perfect turnout) and attach them to a skinny girl's body, I would be the perfect dancer.


    Thank you.

    Because I don't think about that moment EVERY MORNING when I get dressed.

  21. You are the best story teller! I can never tell or write stories like you.

    p.s. I hate that store. ew.
    p.p.s. Sorry about your thief pants.

  22. You are so funny!

    I just need to know if they spray the store with hundreds of bottle of cologne each morning to make it smell so strongly? Seriously. I have always wanted to know. I sometimes want to hold my breath when I walk by.

  23. Stupid Moose shirts. That's all I have to say about that store!

    You are definitely not a B-....stupid manager.

    Hope you look adorable and put together at work today.

  24. You have always been an A+ to me and always will be!!!

  25. A B-???? What the heck? I think you are adorable and always wear the cutest clothes! What a jackass!

  26. a freaking B minus!!!! What a turd.

  27. this story is why your posts are my favorite.

    i personally think you're an a ++. you kind of rock girl

  28. 知道他有了外遇

  29. 男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚


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