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This is Not Toothpaste

Do you ever have times in your life, where there isn't a lot going on but life seems fast-paced and stressful?

That's how I am right now, I really don't have a lot going on but I have felt very "high strung."

I blame part of this on the February Funk and the other part on my car being a mess.

When my car is a mess I feel like my whole life is stressful. I have no idea what the correlation between the two is and I am well aware that I am the cause behind my car being a mess but it still stresses me out.

Today I stepped into my car and instantly the vision of 4 diet coke cans, numerous plastic bottles of water, 4 winter coats, a pair of jeans, a christmas cookie platter, a bag of chocolate chips, a HUGE home decoration thing that I need to take back to the store and black tennis shoes nearly caused me to bust into tears.

And then I think how I want to clean it, but if I clean it I would have to stand in the cold and then I get even more stressed out thinking about the cold weather. My dislike for cold weather is deep and wide.

However my cause for nearly bursting into tears might have had something to do with the fact that I had a close call to almost poisoning myself this morning.

This morning I reached into my bathroom drawer, pulled out my toothpaste and squeezed it onto my toothbrush.

I thought it came out slower and thicker than normal which I seemed a little strange.

As I was about to start brushing my teeth I decided to look at the label on the toothpaste.

I like to call that moment in time, an intervention from the Lord above.

The toothpaste I was about to put into my mouth and on my teeth was not toothpaste, nor was it toothgel. Instead it was a little thing called ATHLETES FOOT CREAM.

And I almost put it into my mouth.

ME, the girl who gets a pain in her wrist and googles it to make sure that its not a flesh eating disease. ME the girl who has an ache in her big toe and wonders if she needs to go to the dr. to make sure it won't fall of. ME the girl who STILL checks the temperature of every meat she has cooked to make sure it won't poison her or the hubs. ME the girl who is basically crazy, almost put Athletes Foot Cream in her mouth.

I was so disgusted. I spent the rest of the day wondering if I had caused myself some sort of bodily harm by almost putting athletes foot cream in my mouth.

The cream didn't even touch me, but yet all day I thought I had symptoms of athletes foot cream poisoning.

So please learn from me. If your toothpaste comes out slow and thick read the label. It may not be toothpaste.

And also, if you are in your car and you get hot and take your coat off, be sure and take it inside with you because before you know it you will have 4 coats piled up and you will get in your car and start crying and people will think something is wrong with you.

And then you will tell them that you almost swallowed athletes foot cream and they will understand.


  1. You need a new incentive to clean your car! My car became perfectly spotless after I moved into a zip code with a VERY high rate of break ins (campus area). In fact, husband's car was broken into twice before we we got married. So I take ANYTHING that might look even remotely valuable (including empty grocery store bags) inside so the criminals and homeless people don't try to steal something worth 99 cents and cost us $99 for a new window. Anyway. Fear of crime keeps my car clean :) All you have to do is move somewhere dangerous. Problem solved!

  2. My car sounds just like yours only I have 4 toddler coats in there as well! Oh and instead of Dt. Coke its Dt. Mt. Dew. :)

  3. You sound like me! My car is a royal mess.

    Oh..and the athletes foot stuff in the mouth wouldn't have poisoned you. It only would have if you like...ate the whole tube, but they make prescription topical ointments for mouth funguses?..fungi? Trust me...I've seen some mouth funk in my 2 years in nursing school that should have been brushed with some athletes foot cream!

    The foot cream might have tasted nasty though!

  4. Oh sweet mercy... I am dying over here!! I love this post... because how do we let ourselves get to this point?! I am so like you.
    Thank goodness the athletes foot cream did not get into your mouth!

  5. Oh my gosh! So glad you looked before you started brushing your teeth! I, too, Google EVERYTHING b/c I am a major hypochondriac. Thank God my mom is a nurse (but she will tell you, I drive her crazy with my incessant contraction of some rare form of disease that may or may not even exist anymore).

    And, if it makes you feel any better my car is so messy, that my dad said "it looks like a homeless person has taken up residence in your car". Yeah, it's that bad. :)

  6. Megan you seriously make me laugh, a lot!! I am the same way, I have a dull ache somewhere random and I'm convinced is something horrible, I have a huge food poisoning phobia (after a bad bout of it once) and so on....

    I will pay attention to my toothpaste this morning!

  7. You poor thing. That is really disgusting.

    I hope today is better... but I've got the Funk and I totally understand.


  8. You crack me up! That is too funny about the foot cream. I'm so glad you realized your mistake before you started brushing!

  9. Oh my gosh! I know what you mean about the car thing! I am the same way. It really upsets my whole day when my car is a mess. I can't clean it out because it is so cold outside! It makes me want to cry!
    Just so you know, you're not alone. Also, I am glad you didnt put the foot cream in your mouth :)

  10. Oh my goodness, too funny!!! Thank God for divine intervention, ha!!

  11. I guess better to almost brush your teeth with athletes foot cream than yeast infection cream!

  12. oh my gosh that's hilarious . . . I'm glad you didn't actually brush with it - it makes me feel a little bit like gagging, but that's because I keep thinking of putting athlete's foot in your mouth instead of the remedy for athlete's foot . . . nasty (both would be nasty) . . .

    anyways, sorry for the weirdest comment ever.

  13. Mornings are so hard to pay attention! Ever put orange juice on your cereal? Doh... Glad you missed out on tasting foot cream, though!

  14. ugh that February Funk is starting to hit me. Good thing it's just about March and March brings lots of happiness.

    Funny story when Preston was a kid he brushed his teeth with bengay. (Yup I bet he loves that I just told you that.hahahahaha)

  15. I'm so thankful for you...seriously, you make me laugh almost every day! At least March is near & hopefully that February funk will be over very soon!

  16. Too funny :)

    I can totally relate with the messy car. If my car is a mess I feel like my whole life is a mess too!

  17. Hahaha! So glad you didn't poison yourself, chicky!

  18. I got the willies just thinking about what that stuff would feel like in my mouth. GAG!

    My car is a hot mess too. And it stresses me out. And I hate the cold. Which is why I wait til hubs can fill the tank with gas even if I'm on E, but it stresses me out to be on E, but I hate the cold. It's a vicious cycle.

  19. I totally get freaking out over your car being dirty. I let mine get out of control and always wish that Alex would clean it for me! But he never does.

    When I was pregnant, I almost brushed my teeth with hair gel. Are you sure you aren't pregnant? ;)

  20. I am so glad that I am not the only ones who "Web-MDs" ailments that I am certain I have! I would be freaking out about the almost toothpaste debacle too. Hope you forget all about it soon...oh, and get your car cleaned out. ;)

  21. messy car=stressful life=messy's a vicious cycle I believe but I find myself here all too often :-) Maybe it's the stress and the busy-ness that makes us not throw away our trash or take in our clothes...

    love your blog!

  22. Oh dear! Mistakingly ingesting that product probably would not have made for a good day. Glad you realized in time!

    I felt so good the other day when cleaning out my car. I think I'm even going to have it detailed on the inside to make it look extra nice. I always feel better when I'm not carrying tons of crap around with me.

  23. Oh my goodness. At least you can always make me laugh! That would have been so gross though, and I totally understand being freaked out by it.

    I also understand the messy car thing. Todd has been driving my Jetta since Hudson was born and I had to drive it the other day. It was A MESS. I nearly cried. Poor Jetta.

  24. My car is a mess too and I can't clean it, I physically can't clean it because my body shuts down in the cold. I've put it off so long. I have to clean it out tomorrow though because we're taking the boys to Kansas. I want to cry just thinking about being in the cold!

  25. ugh. My car = anxiety. I do the same thing. it's terrible.


  26. girl our cars might be twins. it usually takes a water bottle or something similar getting stuck under my brake pedal or something like that for me to clean my car. i have shoes, multiple coats, bottles, cds everywhere, and who even knows what else in there.. no wonder the hubs refuses to get in my car!

  27. Hahaha! I had read this post last night, so when this came across my google reader today, I of course immediately thought of you and started laughing all over again.

  28. hahahah oh my lord i bet that tasted awful

  29. An athlete automatically becomes a free agent when his contractual obligation to a team ends.

  30. To have a healthy looking teeth brushing alone is not enough, eating healthy food and proper oral hygiene are some of the things you need to do to prevent any tooth problems.
    emergency dentist oakville


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