Often times, my 'nonblogging friends' ask me what I blog about. They ask me how do I even come up with strories to blog about.
I explain to them that I basically just blog about my life, whether is important things such as my love for Ryan Seacrest or my obsession with chocolate chip cookies, or weekend memories that I want to look back on and remember, or a funny story from the newly married life of Luke and Megan, its just my life.
However, lately it seems that the blog words just aren't really flowing.
My mind has been distracted, and I can't really even pinpoint why it is distracted.
I'm at a point in my life where I feel constantly 'lost' and it is incrediably frustrating.
"Show us Your direction for our lives."
This is something that I pray every. single. day.
Asking God, pleading with God, begging God to show Luke and I his direction for our lives.
Every night when Luke and I lay down from our busy days, we stop and pray together, and I can guarantee 6 out of 7 prayers a week we ask request this of God.
His will.
His direction.
We are at a transitional time in our lives. We are young, newly married, no kids, our lives could go in any direction at this point.
And we have no idea where it is going.
For the past couple of months I have been battling some pretty heavy discontentment in an area of my life.
I have been fighting it and I am ready to be rid of it.
Discontentment robs me from my life right now. Robs from the season that I am currently living in.
I have blogged about discontentment in my life in the past, and vowed to not let it affect me.
And then I would find contentment in that particular area I was struggling with.
Then discontentment would rear its ugly head in another area, an area that I was perfectly content in and never once would have thought I could have been discontent in it.
It sneaks in, it steals joy, it steals relationships, it steals peace.
And once again, I find myself fighting it.
Sometimes I feel like I can beat it.
Other times I feel like it is suffocating me and I will never know the feeling of contentment again.
Its exhausting.
But strangely enough it keeps me alive.
It keeps me searching for more.
God has so much for my life. For Luke’s life. For our lives together
And when discontentment comes it shows me how ugly the other side is.
How I don’t want to live one day, one moment without God.
Without his direction and his purpose.
It keeps me going.
So I will continue to push through the discontentment fighting it and learning from it.
So until tomorrow this is all I have.
Wish me luck as I attempt to lift my arms today, Jillian was dead-set on making sure they felt like noodles for the next couple of days.
I am in pain just typing. Seriously. And blow drying my hair? I wanted to chop my arms off.
A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. John 10:10 (The Message)
